Bittersweet end

In about two weeks or so, each of the babies will have a place to live. I went through so many emotions of not wanting to keep any to wanting to keep them all to really just wanting the smallest. But realistically, in my apartment and in upcoming moving endeavors with internships and whatnot, it's just feasible to have three cats of my own (or four in a tiny apartment). It's been a really hard journey full of sleepless nights, doing 5 loads of cat laundry, and staying in on the weekend. But they are growing at an incredible rate and I'm still shocked that they even survived.

Stepping back...

I got a call from my sister asking if I would take the kittens because approaching the 3rd day, she was overwhelmed, sleep deprived and needed help. Plus, one had died so really we just wanted to keep any more from passing. I went down that night, got a small can of formula, some bottles, cranked up the heat and took home 4 kittens. I had never seen kittens that small that looked more like hamsters than cats. I picked up one and his little body was convulsing so I knew he was not going to make it. By the time I came back with a warm bottle, his little body gave out. I held him for a min and Elise and I cried, but then I wrapped him in a towel and Elise gave me a shoe box to put him in. The next day, I named him Jonas and told him I was sorry that he didn't make it, but I would do my best to make sure that his siblings did.

Nothing could have prepared us for the next month. They were nicknamed AJ, MJ and RJ. The idea was that we needed ways of identifying and recording their feedings but we didn't want to name them in case they didn't make it. Elise took over much of the Mon-Fri daytime feedings because I was at work, but the evenings, weekends and nights rested on me. The first couple of weeks I slept no more than 2-3hrs in a row. The stress and anxiety of making sure that they were growing was incredible. This became more about proving that I wouldn't fail at keeping a living thing alive than anything.

But they survived. And now they are growing kittens with amazing personalities that will have new homes in the next couple of weeks.

This is Margie (formally RJ) a couple days after we got her. She was always a good eater

It took her a while to open her eyes but she was the biggest, lovingly coined (by me) as Large Marge.

She is hands down the most playful, sweetest kitten. She despises baths though, but I look forward to seeing how she acts as an adult. She's going to a friend of a coworker. An older woman that has always had cats and was looking at adopting one from a rescue when my coworker thought of me. This woman has apparently fallen in love with Margie on sight, and I'm confident she'll grow up in a happy, healthy home where she

is the center of attention.

This is Salsa (used to be MJ, although we've been calling him Squishy).

He too was always an easy eater but what makes him unique is he might be the most chill cat I've ever come across. You can literally do anything to him and he'll just relax and take it. He also was the first to eat from a bowl of canned food/formula and the only one to consistently use the litter box, no matter where it's placed.

Salsa was picked for adoption early by a classmate of mine. She's lucky, he's going to be a great cat (as they all are, haha). Plus he just has a face to die for. I'm going to miss him so much, he's such fun to bathe because he loves the water, loves the blowdryer, but really just loves being in someone's lap being doted on.

Lastly, AJ, or now, my sweet Bee.

Not that they all aren't incredibly painful to give up but Bee holds a very special place in my heart. From the very beginning I was not confident that she was going to live. She was tiny, sick and could not seem to eat enough. Two weeks into having them, I pulled her out of her box to see that she was covering in blood and some sort of kitten bodily fluid and just smelled horrible. I started sobbing and texted my roommate that she was dying and I wasn't sure that they money invested would be worth it if she wasn't going to make it anyway. Elise insisted so we loaded up the kittens and took them in where she was diagnosed with acute diarrhea that was leaking from her, grossly underweight at only 4oz and severe "diaper" rash. The vet did say it was a miracle that any survived but they were not out of the woods yet in terms of living. Feedings were increased back to every 3hrs, with Bee being fed inbetween that, all three needed to have ointments/desitin applied after we made them go potty and Bee was on antibiotics.

But the little thing survived.

She's still tiny but quickly catching up. She always has a dirty face now because of how she eats. She no longer takes a bottle and eats on the gruel with Salsa but because her instinct still says "find the nipple," she faceplants when she eats. I always think of Randy from "A Christmas Story" when he ate meatloaf. She is a sweet girl that follows people around no matter where they go. Yesterday she balanced on the top of my foot while I walked around the kitchen. It looks like she's going to go to the coworker that suggested the friend to me. She's wanted a cat and her husband, when seeing the pictures of Margie, melted and wanted one immediately. She'll be an only cat in her family but she's going to be loved on incredibly.

Even though we still have a couple of weeks with them, I cry anytime I think that next month they aren't going to be with me. Now they've graduated from their box to the kitchen and they LOVE it. It's also weird to not have to document every feeding and bowel movement on the white board in the hallway. So much of the past month has been spent obsessing over their health that I don't know what I did before. Excuses like "I can't stay out, I have a feeding in 2 hrs" was the norm =)

But through all this, I could not have gotten this far without "shitmaster" Elise. She was the only one that could make them poop in the beginning. She also sacrificed her room to be heated to a sweltering 90degrees in the first 2 weeks so they wouldn't be cold, not to mention taking over feedings while I was at work. And for putting up with ridiculously long text messages from me about them. Oh, and loving them too =) Also thanks to Steph for being the auntie that came over when Elise and I couldn't feed them and taking over. Finally, thanks to my sister for realizing hand rearing newborn kittens was exhausting and expensive and entrusting me to raise them and find them homes when she wasn't able handle them. I don't know how Elise and I did it with three, I can't imagine days 1 and 2 with five.